In relationships, couples are often told never to go to bed angry. The long-standing advice suggests that all conflicts should be resolved before ending the day, with the idea that unresolved issues can damage the relationship over time. However, some psychologists now argue that this approach may not always be practical—or even healthy.
According to several mental health experts, pushing for resolution during a heated argument, especially late at night, can lead to unproductive or even harmful conversations. Fatigue, heightened emotions, and stress can all impair judgment and communication, making it harder for partners to truly understand each other.
“Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your relationship is to take a break, sleep on it, and revisit the issue with a clearer head,” says Dr. Elaine Rowe, a clinical psychologist specializing in couples therapy. “Not every disagreement needs to be resolved immediately. In fact, waiting can sometimes lead to more thoughtful, constructive dialogue.”
Research also supports this idea. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that people who get a good night’s rest are better equipped to manage conflict the next day. Sleep can help regulate emotions, reduce stress, and improve problem-solving skills—all of which are vital for healthy communication.
Of course, experts emphasize that the key is not to ignore issues indefinitely. The difference lies in choosing to pause rather than avoid. Letting a partner know that a conversation will continue later—rather than storming off or shutting down—can help maintain emotional safety in the relationship.
“Communication matters,” Dr. Rowe adds. “It’s fine to press pause if things are escalating, but it’s also important to follow through. Revisit the discussion when both people are ready.”
In other words, while resolving conflict is essential, the timing and approach matter just as much. Going to bed angry doesn’t necessarily spell doom for a relationship—sometimes, it can be the first step toward a more productive conversation in the morning.